The Tall Tell Signs of Cheating

How do you know when your significant other is cheating? And more importantly what do you do about it? First of all people let me say that I am no expert in the field of trying to figure out why people cheat, when they cheat, how they cheat, or what to do when they cheat. I will say this on the record though, " You should have solid proof before you accuse, like catching them in the act, pictures, video or audio of the act going down." Otherwise you are wasting your time because what are they going to do? Yep! You guessed it. They are going to lie about it. Some of them are so bold as to lie even when the physical irrefutable evidence is staring them in the face. So how do you know when your lover is cheating on you? I guess the first signs would be your gut feeling. Most of us dismiss our first instincts on a lot of things but normally we are right. I'm not sure what it is maybe some mystical power we all hold within ourselves that gives us that gut feeling about something. Then you have the small things you start to notice they he/she may or may not be doing. You talk to your lover every day at a certain time but lately they have been unavailable. You know things like: I was busy, I didn't get that call, my cell was dead, I was asleep, I was still at work. I don't know people make something up, they do. Or maybe they don't come over as much, they are so tired now, or now all of a sudden they want to go out with their friends when they normally chill at home. You being a human will have brought these things to their attention and what do they do? "What are you talking about? It's not like that. You're being paranoid." Is what you get for your efforts in getting them to come clean. Because what do we really want people. We want honesty. We as Americans want options. We want to make the decision to be with you knowing what kind of person you are. Knowing that you are a lier and a cheat. That way when the crap hit the ceiling fan and gets thrown around the room making it a grotesquely unbearable place to be in, we will only have ourselves to blame because we made the decision to stay rather than have that decision made for us. "I am playing the fool because I choose to not because I am fool enough to not to see the Tall Tell Signs. Oooo!" No one likes to have their options or rights taken away from them. I guess where this game takes it's twist is that in relationships you have no rights or options or whatever you want to call them. Instead you have, Umm, ISL - Inner Subconscious Lies. Yes that's better. Yeah I just came up with that. ISL are the lies you tell yourself when you enter a relationship or a binding emotional agreement with another person. You subconsciously tell yourself that being faithful is a right and that person wouldn't OMG couldn't violate your right to have a honest and faithful lover! What-Ever! We feed ourselves these ISL's. And that people is our down fall. This is where the heartbreak comes in. Because (and I know you have never heard this before and I do so hate to be the bearer of bad news but) along with all the other diseases and viruses out their ISL weakens your immune system. Because you have allowed yourself to believe these lies that you created every pore, every sense, every organ is susceptible to ailment due to ISL. This means when you find out the truth by admission or guilt or just plain old SSC ( Stupid Sloppy Cheating) everything hurts. "My heart hurts, my head hurts, I'm so sad I can't get out of bed, I can't stop crying, when will the pain end?!" I have no idea. Which leads me to the next question people. What are you going to do about it? Hey I'm not Dr. Phil so don't ask me! Seriously what do you do? Do you stay with the person? (Hey in case you didn't know they say once a cheater always a cheater, if that helps you at all) I guess you have to weigh your options. What does that person bring to the table? Do you truly love them in order to stick it out? Do you think they love you? How many time have you been through this with that person? Will you be able to trust this person again? Can you be with person after they feed into your ISL (Yes they can do that); After they promise you that it will never happen again, it was a mistake, Blah Blah Blah? Can you deal with that and not bring it up a thousand and one times for any apparent reason because at this stage all your senses are heightened and you can detect bull, lies, prying eyes, and you can even detect when a cell tower is down or not. I mean at this stage your Inner Subconscious Lies get in bed with TCT - The Conscious Truth. And when that happens all reality as you know it is guessing game. You don't know which way is which, driving you mad with frustration, making your lover mad because they get accused of cheating when they blow their nose, leaving you both in emotional turmoil. Eventually you will do one of two things: Leave ( rarely the first choice), or you just say "Freak it!" (Sorry folks trying to keep it PG) You just deal with it until you yourself become a cheater.

The End

Relationships Worth It or Not?

Today I want to talk about relationships. Now by no means do I proclaim to be any kind of relationship specialist. I am just a regular girl trying to understand the dynamics of relationships. I mean one minute you feel so good and great about your relationship then the next you're not so confident. What causes this? Yeah Yeah I know unfaithfulness is at the top of everybody's list right. I suppose that is right. You can't be secure in your feelings that your significant other is only sharing their cake with you if unfaithfulness rears it's ugly head. And it will. As much as I am a hopeless romantic and desire Cinderella love, it just ain't happening like that. Ever!!! Well I guess I can't say ever because I don't know what every couple has going on in the world but I'm sure I'm pretty close. I do think we need love (and I use that word very loosely) in our lives. We also need pain so that we can recognize and appreciate love when we get it. When boy meets girl it is such a wonderful thing. They meet.
"Hi my name is Tom. No relation to the myspace guru", he said as he looked deep into her eyes. "I'm Samantha," she said with as little emotion as possible. She didn't want him to know that she was felling him like that right off the bat, but she was. "So You live around here?" Classic question. "Yes, I live...." she answers. And for the next ten minutes Samantha engages in small talk that leads to her giving up those digits only to start an agonizing one to three days of anticipation. Well Tom calls two and a half days later and so it begins.
Everything is so perfect in the beginning of relationships aren't they? The guy acts right the girl acts right and "We are so happy." Then you get to know each other, some months have passed by and we are still making our friends sick with kissing, touching, talking, and going out. Then what I like to call the 365 stint is here. You have made it a whole year. It's usually around this time that everybody grows comfortable. A little too comfortable. Attention is still being paid equally but there is something missing you just can't quiet put your finger on it. Since there have been no major problems you keep on rolling because why mess with something that doesn't seem to be broken. It's only when the 730 day train comes in (give or take a few days) that you have an epiphany. "Hey, he didn't do this and she didn't do that. He don't take me no where! Man she don't even cook when I get home from work! You haven't called me all day." Here it is people. "ARE YOU CHEATING?" they both asked in unison. Right at that exact moment all trust is gone and a marathon of indiscretions he or she might be doing runs through your mind all day everyday. He can't be a minute late from work; she can't go to the grocery store; and neither of you can or can not answer that damn cell phone! (Worst invention yet for couples huh?)
You know I was watching Obama the other day at a campaign event in Virginia I believe it was. And don't quote me on anything but he was answering questions from the audience. A man asked him about how to overcome looking for a job and not being criticized and ridiculed because he has once served time in prison. Well Obama intelligently explained to him that while two men may be dressed in nice suits, one of them bears a record and chances are he will not be the chosen one. He went on to say that the problem doesn't lie within the employer not choosing him because he did have the right to pick whomever he wanted. He said if you don't go to jail in the first place there would be no problem getting a job, or at least not in that aspect.
Now I know you thinking what does that have to do with what you're talking about? I'll tell you. Don't let the newness and love and flirtiness leave you relationship in the first place. If you cooked for your man then continue to cook for him no matter what. "Say what girl?" You read it! If you took your girl out and gave her affection (the kind you know us girls need) then keep doing it! Let your man know you recognize he had a long day at work, kiss him, support him, and also give him his man time with the boys. Don't worry you get to sleep with him at night so he'll be back home. Men tell your women you love them. We're not trying to hear "You already know I love you why I got to say it?" Because you do! It makes us feel better! Just do it! You can be hard around your boys but show a little tenderness with your woman. We won't tell and whether they know it or not they tend to do it anyway. What I'm getting at is whatever you did to get your man or your woman. Always do it. Always try to get that digits from her. So that when day 365 and day 730 roll around it will feel just like day 1. Remember how great you felt when you talked to them on the phone or how excited you were to see them. It felt so authentic, so innocent, so safe, so big, so real, and most importantly it felt soooo right! I'm getting goose bumps just thinking about my day 1. Promote love people. You will feel a whole lot better about everything!

"Hey Samantha."
"Yes Tom."
"I love you."

And if it doesn't work out at least you can say you did everything you were supposed to.

PS. THIS MESSAGE IS ONLY FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE TRULY SEARCHING FOR HAPPINESS AND HONESTY IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS. SO TO EVERYBODY ELSE. QUIT PLAYING GAMES!!!

AHH MAN, MY BOYFRIEND IS GOING TO READ THIS! THE PRESSURE IS ON! LOL!



BARACK OBAMA YA'LL 2008 VOTE OR SHUT UP!!!