How do you know when your significant other is cheating? And more importantly what do you do about it? First of all people let me say that I am no expert in the field of trying to figure out why people cheat, when they cheat, how they cheat, or what to do when they cheat. I will say this on the record though, " You should have solid proof before you accuse, like catching them in the act, pictures, video or audio of the act going down." Otherwise you are wasting your time because what are they going to do? Yep! You guessed it. They are going to lie about it. Some of them are so bold as to lie even when the physical irrefutable evidence is staring them in the face. So how do you know when your lover is cheating on you? I guess the first signs would be your gut feeling. Most of us dismiss our first instincts on a lot of things but normally we are right. I'm not sure what it is maybe some mystical power we all hold within ourselves that gives us that gut feeling about something. Then you have the small things you start to notice they he/she may or may not be doing. You talk to your lover every day at a certain time but lately they have been unavailable. You know things like: I was busy, I didn't get that call, my cell was dead, I was asleep, I was still at work. I don't know people make something up, they do. Or maybe they don't come over as much, they are so tired now, or now all of a sudden they want to go out with their friends when they normally chill at home. You being a human will have brought these things to their attention and what do they do? "What are you talking about? It's not like that. You're being paranoid." Is what you get for your efforts in getting them to come clean. Because what do we really want people. We want honesty. We as Americans want options. We want to make the decision to be with you knowing what kind of person you are. Knowing that you are a lier and a cheat. That way when the crap hit the ceiling fan and gets thrown around the room making it a grotesquely unbearable place to be in, we will only have ourselves to blame because we made the decision to stay rather than have that decision made for us. "I am playing the fool because I choose to not because I am fool enough to not to see the Tall Tell Signs. Oooo!" No one likes to have their options or rights taken away from them. I guess where this game takes it's twist is that in relationships you have no rights or options or whatever you want to call them. Instead you have, Umm, ISL - Inner Subconscious Lies. Yes that's better. Yeah I just came up with that. ISL are the lies you tell yourself when you enter a relationship or a binding emotional agreement with another person. You subconsciously tell yourself that being faithful is a right and that person wouldn't OMG couldn't violate your right to have a honest and faithful lover! What-Ever! We feed ourselves these ISL's. And that people is our down fall. This is where the heartbreak comes in. Because (and I know you have never heard this before and I do so hate to be the bearer of bad news but) along with all the other diseases and viruses out their ISL weakens your immune system. Because you have allowed yourself to believe these lies that you created every pore, every sense, every organ is susceptible to ailment due to ISL. This means when you find out the truth by admission or guilt or just plain old SSC ( Stupid Sloppy Cheating) everything hurts. "My heart hurts, my head hurts, I'm so sad I can't get out of bed, I can't stop crying, when will the pain end?!" I have no idea. Which leads me to the next question people. What are you going to do about it? Hey I'm not Dr. Phil so don't ask me! Seriously what do you do? Do you stay with the person? (Hey in case you didn't know they say once a cheater always a cheater, if that helps you at all) I guess you have to weigh your options. What does that person bring to the table? Do you truly love them in order to stick it out? Do you think they love you? How many time have you been through this with that person? Will you be able to trust this person again? Can you be with person after they feed into your ISL (Yes they can do that); After they promise you that it will never happen again, it was a mistake, Blah Blah Blah? Can you deal with that and not bring it up a thousand and one times for any apparent reason because at this stage all your senses are heightened and you can detect bull, lies, prying eyes, and you can even detect when a cell tower is down or not. I mean at this stage your Inner Subconscious Lies get in bed with TCT - The Conscious Truth. And when that happens all reality as you know it is guessing game. You don't know which way is which, driving you mad with frustration, making your lover mad because they get accused of cheating when they blow their nose, leaving you both in emotional turmoil. Eventually you will do one of two things: Leave ( rarely the first choice), or you just say "Freak it!" (Sorry folks trying to keep it PG) You just deal with it until you yourself become a cheater.
The End
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